Okay, morale damn low cos i dont seem to have any followers to my blog. haha.

've been staying home these days. Getting bored of my life. I know i should get a job soon, but sigh. I just want to accompany him, not much time left.
Prolly 've been trying too hard to be one. Why cant i just be myself? & am i really that f-up? I will try my best, for some time. Willing to continue if its on the right track, if not then... hmmm, i dont know?
Somehow or rather, i feel like getting married now! haha. CRAZY! How can such an idea be in my unstable mind now? Wake up from the idea steph!

Dorothy asked me not to be so emo. haha.
I know i should include more happiness in my blog, but i do not know why i tends to blog more often when 'm not feeling that good.
Buck up!=D

惯性背叛 - 蔡依林

享受被爱的风光
嘘寒问暖 稀松平常
你喝水 你吃饭你拥有的早已习惯


活在被爱的天堂 以为幸福都很像
被哄着入睡 吻着起床
换一个人是否一样


惯性背叛 还天真的希望我应该体谅
像孩子找着新玩伴 很快的 受了伤拼命回头却不敢让我看到你的慌
惯性背叛 才发现你是如此害怕黑暗
原来什么都被锁上
我慢慢 觉得凉 越接近夕阳影子越长


你在被爱的门窗总是贪婪 总是张望
人挤人的街上 踩得尽是 伤心失望
你在被爱的围墙
那个温暖的手掌 以为的捆绑 却是力量
陪你冷战 陪你张狂

30th Oct 2009


Last minute decided to meet the girls as i was kinda moody.
Rach, Ying and I took an irritating cab around 9 to Vivo. I said irritating cos that driver can laugh at the slightest thing over the conversations between us girls.

Was supposed to meet Beatrice there at 9 when she ended work but we were late, as usual =/
Then we waited for Ying to get her dinner done then proceeded to PowerHouse.
Waited for the rest of the girls to reach and after all the nuisance, we then managed to start drinking at 12.
It wasn't that packed compared to those Wednesday we went.

One word to describe that night- Drama.

Went home with my feet aching all because of my killer heels. I hope i wont wear it to club again, though this is not the first time ): I swear it's damn pain!
Sadly, we girls are cutting down on clubbing due to unforseen circumtances. But its like we only club like once every 2months? ): or only special occassions?

I thought Grace is already very pathetic, but we are worst than her! cos her husband only allow her out to drink like once a month? However she already took many months in advance . Haha.

Homely day for me on Sat, though i dont wish to.
Sunday wasn't very cool for me too.
I hate this month!
Every bad things happened this month.

I hope the rest of this two months will be better for everyone.



* Wenxia, though i do not know what happened between the both of you, but i hope you'll message me after you're feeling better kay? Cheer up my dear! HaeBi ah, you've got me! (:




* Rest In Peace LiowWeiHua.

The credit card statement is here, 7 times. Though i cant, but i pathetically accept it.

I know everyone is laughing at me now, even God is making a fool of my life.

'm just not good enough. if i am, such things wont happened.

These are exactly the same strategies you used when you're after me, if not i wont know what you're up to next.

Sigh.


I waited alone for you every night, just to ensure you're home safely after drinking.

I went out alone, just because 'm lonely and you cant or doesnt want to accompany me.

I have never confine you, stop you or disallow you to do what you wanna do.

I cry everynight just to feel better.

I can give everything up just to company you or make you happy.

But in the end, you did everything you can just to hurt me.

Love, I sincerely apologise for what i did to you previously and i took you for granted. 'm at fault first, 've already regretted. But that does not mean you could do all these to take revenge.

I feel that 've already done my best.

My heart is numb from all the pain.

But it all made me stronger.

Tell me, do i deserve these?

'm already not a factor in your life, that's why.

But why are you holding on?

I believe god will pave a awesome path for me.
but can this path be right in front of me now please?
'm tired :(

100days of vegetarian is finally over for darling dear, felt really happy for him.
I will try my very best to do the way he like things to be.
'm sorry too.




好想好好爱你　但我不够潇洒　只能怪我自己不够好
对不起　我爱你