Sigh. I thought i didn't want cake this year, but now 've regretted:( I want pretty cake every year!
Seeing everyone spending special occasions happily, why did i not have a good one?
Okay, i should be content with him by my side. But darl', can you buy me a cake?

I want to have an unforgetable countdown to end off this unlucky 2009 well! May the rest of the years be the best and bestest ever for everyone!

Since this is my blog, i know there's still things i can't or shouldn't pen down. However, this is the only place i can write down my thoughts, happiness or even sadness. This will be the only place that captures my whole life and footprints. Please kindly respect my blog and I. Thank You ;)


I reckon my life to be the most dramatic one ever.
I never thought these would occurred to me, but 'm glad 've been through all. Some says, its everyone's part and parcel of life, but i seriously doubt it. Some won't have the chance to taste any with their good life. However, God is fair. One with looks, money, intelligence doesn't mean they'll have good health or best love life. One who don't look good compared to the rest will have others to back them up or compensate them. But there are also exception cases! Which is why until now i still do not understand.

Although what 'm going through now is a torment for a 19year old, I believe if i can make through all these, things will be better for me in future. It's seriously tough for me to handle alone, i really need support, much much more support to keep me alive. I dont consider myself as "going through a lot more than other 19year old", or "I'm much more mature in my thinking of my age", because different people go through different things in life, and thus, the different thinkings and character. What is the most important thing is, if they can handle it appropriately and make through all ordeal worthy of their own conscience. I rather these happen to me now than later, because 'm still young and I can still take it or rather, accept it.

I promise to do my best in everything to be a better man! Its my life and i should be more optimistic! God, Please guide me through...

Wishing Wilson&Clare a Happy&Blissful Marriage on the 20th!
,
Happy Birthday to ME on the 21st!
&
Happy Birthday to Amber on the 23rd!


I wanna Thanks my Jgirls for making an effort to celebrate my birthday with me @Rebel on the 19th ;) Lucky we're not drunk! I want more Lambos next time! Yay! (For those who didnt turn up, its okay! We'll have more gatherings soon kay:)
& also a BIG ThankYou to my Darling' J for making an effort to even spend the day with me, booking the room and the presents! I will still love you no matter what! I believe things will be better for us<3
Thanks to everyone that wished me too! Really appreciate it alot alot when friends actually rmb!
=D

So much for... FUCK MOOD SWING!

Here’s to all the girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning & be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, & moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened.

Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, “I only want to be your friend” one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute.

Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we we’re stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, & even sneaked around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking we would be just friends, & ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to settle for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.

Here’s for the ones who did their hair and makeup & put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say,& took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day & wonder “what if”.

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, & cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, & get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “things were going too fast, he needs time”. Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again.

This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so”. The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake by ever allowing him into their hearts & their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here’s for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here’s for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, & the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here are for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.

This is for those confusing days, when you miss him & want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt.

Remember the times you cried & how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When ‘your song’ comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made & tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the hell he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to.

One day you’ll find a guy, who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It’s going to hurt like hell, & it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for those girls who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again.


Thanks Rcmy.

Just got back from facial.
Gotta do my nails and trim my hair one of the next few days.
Though 've consecutive 2days of birthday this year, I only have 1 wish.
God, Please Grant Me My One&Only Wish. (though its a long one.)
Please reply to my prayers.
A million of thanks.

Does it still consider yr own blog when you cant express yr feelings in it?